Passing the Time : Aware 3

Another prospect for Aware 3 - let me know what you think!

Passing the Time

Open spaces
banks of trees
rows of houses
playing fields
swollen rivers
fallen leaves
silver pylons
industry
busy tractors
sudden rain
steam the window
up again
cruising the tracks…
cruising the tracks…
cruising the tracks…
cruising the tracks…

Play some music
read a book
write a poem
do some work
bacon sandwich
cup of tea
watch the passing
scenery
watch a movie
play a game
things we do whilst
on the train
passing the time…
passing the time…
passing the time…
passing the time…

"Crackle and groan, shiver and moan"

Here is something that I had about 6 large stanzas of, and ended up distilling it down to this. It's part of the 'Home and Away' theme.

Crackle and groan, shiver and moan,
Shuffle of feet.

Explosion of colour, dynamic motion,
Rocking conceit.

All meaning crushed beneath shiny wheels,
Take me home

Critique piece for Aware 3

For the 'Home' bit. I'm still working on some other possibilities, but my heart's not been in it recently. This poem was written after looking out of the window on a day at work in Manchester.


A City under Construction

A bright flag flaps in the wind, and
above the sky is a grey sheet
pierced and clipped like a
giant paper snowflake.
Cranes punctuate the skyline,
exclaiming, hyphenating and
everywhere adding to the growing
mass of glass, and steel, and bricks
that redefine this city. Builders
congregate on the streets
with fat yellow hats
and no sense of urgency,
erecting barriers,
demolishing piecemeal.

The jackhammers’ relentless cry
rises above the traffic.

I miss the old city;
with its soft maternal glow,
its fallen arches, and wrinkled
pavements. There was always
warmth to be found amongst
the ramshackle streets,
and buildings that sagged
into a crooked smile.

But now that smile’s been fixed
beneath the surgeons knife,
and I shiver at the sight of it.

Critique piece : Your Love

Hi Guys,

Here's a piece for critique. This isn't for Aware 3, just something I've written. Let me know what you think:

Your Love

Your love was a needy child
that cried in my absence;
that waited by the door,
grabbed me by the leg
and wouldn’t let go.
I wasn’t ready to be a parent,
to wipe away your blood
and tears, suckle you
against my breast and
feel replete. I grew tired of
the endless games, the
repetition of nonsense words,
“I love you”, “I love you too” –
“I love you”, “I love you too”.
I sent you away to school.
Now my cries break,
the silence of the night,
and the darkness of the tomb.

Meeting 28th August 2007

Thanks to everyone who made it to the meeting last Tuesday, and thanks in particular to Peter for delivering an excellent workshop on the subject of research.

We are now looking for submissions for Aware 3. The theme this year is "Home and Away" , and I'll be really interested to see how this theme is interpreted! We're looking for short stories and articles (not exceeding 1500 words), as well as poems, short prose, flash fiction, whatever you feel like! Submissions should be e-mailed to Belinda, or you can e-mail them via chorley.writers@4tn.net. Please send submissions in by 24th September.

The next meeting is 25th September and will be a critique night. If you have any submissions for Aware 3 that you'd like to be included in the critique please ensure this is highlighted on the piece. Alternatively if you have any other items for critique you could either e-mail them to chorley.writers@4tn.net, or alternatively post them here.