My dreaded poetry assignment

hi

as I mentioned I had my OU poetry assignment due tomorrow and I really struggled with this until this morning. I lost a best friend yesterday and wanted to write in the hope it would help me with his death so this is what I did and its formed part of my assignment to. Unfortunately it hasn't helped me yet but hopefully might do soon.

thanks
Hayley

Passed

This you sized space is aching and stabbing at my chest.
It needs your chair to be filled,
to see your hands move,
to watch you yawn,
to make your dinner.
It was to be simple, you were to come home
to me and a rice pudding baking slowly.
The heavy waiting had passed, they said ‘recovery’
and I breathed again.
Then the phone again, ringing where it shouldn’t have been.
They said words like ‘complications’, fluids
where there should have been none,
the only word I heard, ‘died’.
I was calm, I made the calls, listened
to the grief, then washed your breakfast plates.
Now ‘arrangements’ are being made around me and all I can do
is stare at the you sized space.
The regret and what if pushes against the grief threatening
to win.
Did I tell you I love enough, did I hold you enough, did I kiss
you enough, did I?
Your animation is lost in the photographs
meant to fill the gap. You defined me
and now my definition is lost,
shapeless, staring at the you sized space.